A minor setback....

The past week the Amsterdam Derby Dames have taken their minimum skills requirement WFTDA test.

We started on Thursday with all the parts of the test except endurance.
Almost everybody was so nervous...it was pretty crazy...
We had our test in the small gym that we have been training in for the past 10 months.
Hunter S. Toss 'em, a ref from the Rat City Rollergirls, came out to help us out, which was awesome!! Thanks again so much Hunter.
So only two girls went into the hall at a time, and their where our 4 trainers and Hunter marking our performances. Two people grading one girl at all times.

We went by Derby name, so I was second in line together with Eliza Do-damage. It was so weird going in to the hall, that we have all gone into soooooo many times, but it was different this time, knowing you have to preform, even the things I was absolutely confident about, where just harder. And it showed... I felt like my overall performance sucked more then normal. At the beginning it was just stops and falls. But as soon as we got to part I was feeling most excited about, hitting and whipping, I got frustrated. This is normally that part of the skills I am pretty good at (at least for a newbie), and it did not go very well... It was weird doing hits and whips with someone I normally don't practice them with. Eliza Do-Damage is quite a bit shorter then me and I have been just practicing this for the past weeks with Lola Rock 'n' Rolla, who is almost the same length as me. So it felt weird, cause you only have that 'one moment' to show what you can do, and no time to get used to a new training partner. Of course in Roller Derby you need to be able to do this with everybody, girls in all shapes and sizes. But with this test, this was the part I felt really confident about, and it didn't go the way I thought it would, which made me so frustrated and mad. Mad at myself for not showing what I could do. All that frustration combined with my body again failing to keep up, was just to much, so I had my first WFTDA test nervous breakdown. And it sucked. I cried and screamed a little and then tried to calm down. Luckily Roller Derby is a team sport, and I have the best team mates a Derby girl could ask for! So I went for a smoke, calmed down and listened to some music, before I had to get back in there for the next part of the test.

During the test we had allot of waiting to do. And in the dressing room where we sat waiting our turns, we shared our nerves, experiences, and without being too gooey, I just cannot imagine how I would have done this without all of you rad ladies!

Me and Armorkillo doing our thing... :p


After our first part of the test, I was really bummed out, to say the least...
We all went for a beer together, and I had a great talk with Dirty Knickers (one of our trainers). Even though I still felt horrible afterwards, I was happy to have someone that has also been through this, and really understands, to talk too.
Up until friday night I was still really bummed out. I was glad to have band practice and put all my frustrations into the bass guitar and just have fun with my with my friends. The next morning though it was the second part of the WFTDA test. The thing I dreaded the most of all...endurance....
I all ready knew it was going to suck. But I was determined to make the best of it.
For those of you who don't know what this part of the test is about, I will explain. You have to make it around the official Roller Derby track 5 times in the first minute, and after that make another 20 rounds in the next 4 minutes. Which for most experienced skaters is not to much of a big deal, but for those starting out it's hard... All of the girls did amazing, even though all lot of them had a hard time too in the last couple of rounds, we all cheered them on and they kept going. It's was great. And then it was my turn.... I made it through the first minute making the 5 rounds. But that first minute was the only part of the test that I did well... My body would work with me, and after only a couple of minutes tears where streaming down my face... the frustration of not being able to do this, and my ankles and back hurting, was just to much. Of course I kept going the best I could while being as upset as I was. It must have been like a freaking movie scene. Me, trying to keep skating, while tears where running down my face.... I must have looked like an idiot...
But yeah I guess I just cannot really deal with the frustrations of not being able to do what I want to do most of all.
After having a couple of my best derby friends calmed me down I got dressed and went outside to smoke a cigarette (yeah I know, after failing my endurance test, I should know better then smoke...). The rest of team came out, and we heard we the trainers where counting all the scores, so we wouldn't have to wait for the results another day.
So except for 5 of us, the rest of the team past. I didn't, which I expected, but of course it still really sucked! The trainers told me I almost passed, so if I will work on a couple of things I will make it next time for sure. So I have got my work cut out for me the next 6 weeks or so. Train harder then ever, and have to get my ankles and hips checked out by a physical therapist, so I can make sure my body can keep up with the training. Cause I will get there, this is just a minor setback on my way to play Roller Derby!

Congratulations again to all my team mates that did make the test. And to those that didn't, we will get there next time and we will kick ass when we do!!

- Furrrocious