Everybody can be a hero in Roller Derby

Like loads of us 'newer' derby girls, we'd seen Whip it! and got enthusiastic about the sport.
The one message in Whip it! that stuck by me, is "You can be your own hero!".
That message combined with the main character going from hardly being able to skate to be an actual Roller Derby girl was the reason that I thought "fuck it, maybe I can do this too! Maybe I can be my own hero.."
When I started looking in to Roller Derby, I saw that girls from all shapes and sizes played this wonderful sport. For me that was the push I needed to think I could actually do this, or at least give it a shot!

When you start Roller Derby with absolutely no athletic background, its not easy. You find out you have muscles you have never used before, or let alone even knew excised. And its hard, at first, you will have ups and downs, moments where you think you will never get better.
But the cool thing about derby is that that you have a team around you, to motivate you, to push you when you need it, and to hug you when you feel like you can't do it anymore.
I have definitely struggled to get where I am now, and I am not even it the maximum of my abilities. I cried on the track out of pain and utter frustration, but in the end I kept going, because I have had amazing girls around me to support me when I needed it.

I am a big girl, and playing Roller Derby did not make me any smaller. I gained more muscles, got stronger, tighter and fitter, but no smaller, and no lighter either! In stead of feeling down about my size and weight I embraced the fact that my body type could be of use in this sport (just as any body type has its place in Roller Derby). I became proud of my body and all it brought to my skills in Roller Derby, so I made my number my weight, #105kg (230lbs) I found out that it wasn't just good for myself, but it also works as a great scare tactic! ;)  

The reason I am writing this blog today is because about a week or so ago a saw this post on Facebook of a Nike commercial. I reposted it, because I loved the text that goes with it, I could have written that myself.
 

 My BUTT is big
and round like a letter C
And ten thousand lunges 
Has made it rounder
But not smaller
And thats just fine.
Its a space heater
For my side of the bed
It's my embassador
to those who walk behind me
Its a border collie
That herds skinny women
away from the best deals
at clothing sales
My butt is big and that's just fine
And those who might scorn it
Are invented to kiss it



The only thing was that the picture didn't fit for me...
So I made a new one:

I made this because I am proud of myself, especially when I am surrounded by Derby people. They give me the feeling that it's okay to be me and that I have a body I can be proud of. Something society does not tell you with the commercials we see everyday. I deal with trying to fit in to jeans all the time, because my body type is not standard (not in Holland anyways) and because clothing designers and store focus on the small sizes instead of bigger ones.
I felt like showing the world that having an actual big butt is something I can be proud off. As a Roller Derby girl and as a woman.

I was hoping people would like it as much as I did myself but little did I know people would like it so much that they would share this with their friends. No less then 79 people liked my picture, that alone is pretty insane!
But then it started to get shared by different people. Even people I didn't know.
It also got shared by a league called Stone Cold Foxes Roller Derby from Junction City KS, and their founder and coach Jersey Vicious re-posted it, with a messaged that I related to very well, she pretty much grasped the idea of it the whole picture:

The fact that she called me one of her "derby heroes" was very touching. I can't believe anybody would see me as a hero at all. And it is in no way my goal to be anybodies hero, derby or otherwise.
So I wrote this, because even though I don't have to be a hero, I love to share my story in which I am my own Roller Derby hero and let everybody know that we can all be our own heroes! I have come a long way from stumbling and falling over on skates, to playing bouts and having the best time in my life with this sport.
So put on those skates and work hard, because you can be your own hero!!

- Furrrocious